|Newspaper Clippings 11/22 (Orlijah, Viggo/Bean) PG-13
||[Jul. 28th, 2010|01:03 am]
Orlando Slash Universe
Title: Newspaper Clippings|
Pairing: Orlijah eventually, Viggo/Bean
Complete: Only in my head.
Genre: Angst, hurt/comfort, romance.
Chapter Summary: Elijah's hurting after Orlando's apparent rejection and needs a good friend to help him out.
Author's Note: I updated last week, and now again! Hopefully I can manage another chapter soon.
To sparkly_shiny not only are you a good friend but you're a freaking awesome beta :D
“You look like you’ve had the worst day ever,” Sean Astin told Elijah when the younger man made his way into the store the next morning.
He had a worried look on his face as he studied Elijah and looked him up and down.
Elijah swallowed, his throat hurting and every muscle in his body seeming to ache as he stood near the cash wrap, his hands shoved deep in his pockets. He knew he looked awful, he hadn’t slept much the night before, and he did feel like he was going to drop at any moment.
Sean hesitated. “c’mon ‘Lij, let’s go into my office,” he touched Elijah’s shoulder gently, propelling him into the office. “Why don’t you sit down?” he gestured toward the couch.
Elijah sat down on the couch and looked at his hands, the skin reddened and making him feel ashamed for what he had been putting himself through.
Closing the door, Sean sat down in one of the chairs in front of his desk after turning it so that he was facing Elijah.
“I thought the books were helping,” he murmured softly, sounding so sympathetic Elijah wanted to break down.
“They were,” he mumbled, his hands forming fists before he shoved them into his hoody feeling like he should hide them from view, his own shame at the situation mounting as time went on. “They were, I promise,” he looked up at Sean, sounding desperate even to his own ears, desperate for his friend and boss to believe him.
Sean nodded his head, leaning back in his chair. “Why do you look like you haven’t slept, Elijah?” his voice was level and Elijah took comfort in the fact that his friend, unlike Dom sometimes did, wasn’t prone to freaking out over small or large things.
“I haven’t slept,” Elijah admitted, nibbling on his bottom lip, picking at any loose skin there with his teeth as he looked around the office, his eyes blurry from lack of sleep.
“Oh ‘Lij,” Sean murmured, frowning somewhat.
Elijah could feel the shame growing, red and hot in his throat, and his eyes burned as he looked down at the jeans he was wearing.
“Orlando kissed me,” he said suddenly, the words leaving him in a rush and the remembrance of it leaving him feeling completely weak.
Sean let out a choked sounding gasp and when Elijah glanced up, his eyes were wide. “Did you want him to?” his next words were less calm as they usually were.
Elijah managed a small, hesitant smile.
“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter,” he shook his head, the smile slipping away as he remembered how Orlando had run from him. It hurt to think about, hurt to even try to comprehend it.
“Why doesn’t it matter? It should matter what you want,” Sean tried to tell him, a frown on his face. “Did he try to do something more than what you were ready for?”
“No, no it was nothing like that,” Elijah responded, standing up he shook his head, unable to believe Sean would even think something like that of Orlando. “He doesn’t really want me,” he mumbled, his eyes drawn downward once again.
“Did he say that?” Sean asked, now sounding aghast.
Elijah was beginning to realize he was not explaining anything well at all and attempted to gather his thoughts so that he could retell the story of what had happened the day before, leading up to the kiss and after the kiss.
“I was supposed to have class yesterday and although I made it to the school I didn’t go, I couldn’t bring myself to do it,” Elijah confessed, his throat seeming to squeeze at the thought and his hands shaking.
Sean looked like he wanted to ask questions, but held back until Elijah was ready to tell him more.
“I hid in the bathroom and I fully intended to go home after a little while because I wanted to make sure Orlando had already left before I did. I didn’t want to have to explain to him that once again I flaked out on something I was supposed to be doing because I couldn’t control my own emotions,” Elijah ran his fingers through his hair.
“Would he judge you for that? He doesn’t really seem like the type,” Sean confessed, his eyes seeming to study and dissect his friend.
Elijah shifted uncomfortably. “No, he’s not that type at all, but almost everyone in my life is.”
Sean nodded, understanding better.
“I just...I know he would never ask me for an explanation, he would never demand one but he has this way of making me want to open up, to be phenomenally honest with him and it scares me,” Elijah bit his bottom lip then released it quickly, not wanting it to bleed.
“And when you went home?” Sean questioned him, his tone filled with nothing but compassion as he asked every question, trying to make some understanding of the situation.
“I got lost first, running from the school and it felt amazing as silly as that sounds. I was just...free for a few moments until the panic set in and it took me a long time to get home. I was too ashamed to call, and Dom was there waiting. I guess Orlando had called him and he was really angry...concerned,” Elijah slumped against the couch, resisting the urge to cover his face even though he wanted to.
“So Dom and you had words?” Sean observed.
Elijah nodded, “He’ll forgive me; he always does. I told Orlando I wanted to go lie down and to leave me around and he let me.”
Sean nodded, “So when did the kiss come in?”
Elijah bowed his head, hugging himself once again. “I woke up and he was there, he was waiting and he told me he cared too much. I told him there was no such thing as caring too much and he just kissed me.”
“And then he left?” Sean sounded incredulous.
“Yeah, it’s all my fault of course,” Elijah hated how his voice shook as he spoke. “I mean, who the fuck would want someone like me?” he asked, shaking his head. He rubbed his eyes as they burned again.
“Someone like you?” There was a thread of anger to Sean’s voice and he moved to sit next to Elijah, very carefully touching his shoulder. “Why wouldn’t anyone want someone like you?”
Elijah laughed bitterly. “Has anyone ever told you you’re just too nice, Sean?”
Sean shook his head, laughing as well, but there was sadness in the emotion with him. “You are strong, funny, attractive. So what if you’re OCD, it doesn’t matter in the end, not to the people who really matter.”
“It matters to him, or he wouldn’t have run,” Elijah muttered, scrubbing his cheeks with his hands. He wiped away any trace of tears that might have fallen. “Why did he have to run if he cared too much?”
Sighing Sean squeezed his shoulder again, “Do you ever think maybe it’s not you he’s afraid of?”
Elijah turned to look at Sean, filled with confusion. “What? Like he’s scared of...what? What could I have done that would scare him? I mean...I don’t...” He struggled to understand.
“Maybe he’s scared of caring too much, maybe someone else hurt him,” Sean stated, shrugging. “I can’t say for sure but it seems likely.”
Wetting his lips, Elijah nodded his head, remembering Viggo’s concern for Orlando, remembering hearing Orlando mutter the name Karl in his sleep. He suddenly wanted to find his friend, if they were still friends, and confront him, or at the very least comfort him.
“What do I do?” he asked Sean, blue eyes wide and now displaying a keen sense of understanding.
“Find out the truth, I guess, and try to make it easy for him to tell you it,” Sean suggested.
Elijah smiled, hugging his friend quickly. He was shocked at himself and his smile widened at the shock on his friend’s face.
“I’ve gotta get home,” he hurried out of the door and soon after out of the store.
He was going to make Orlando understand it was okay to be scared, that it was okay to have been hurt before.
Elijah was going to try to make Orlando better. He only hoped he would succeed.
Because not succeeding, well, it would hurt like a bitch.